(If I wrote a blog for everytime something amazing happens in therapy, this site would explode. I have to give credit to an incredible client who came up with this phrase recently during a session, “Stank and Stone.” This evolve after an example I use when discussing anxiety and worrying.)
There are times in which I reference movies, stories in the Bible, and ANYTHING that fits our discussion relating to our process of healing and discovery. In this case, I will reference the Biblical event (I Samuel 17) between David and Goliath as the brief example, All it took was one faithful young man (David) with a sling shot and one rock aimed at the giant (Goliath) and HE…WENT…DOWN.
The giants we face are the fears and anxiety (anticipation of something bad happening); and David representing those who are facing “the giants.” David ultimately slew the Giant with one stone. I call the power and force behind the stone as the “stank.” Hence, “Stank and Stones.” (Sure, I could insert all of the “clinical” words here and make it sound more…well… clinical and fancy, but I choose not, who can’t relate to STANK).
Now let’s back up and discuss how this relates to fears, anxiety and worrying. One thing about how our mind and body works is that it physiologically responds to our anticipation of something bad happening as if we are in real danger. We have to be aware of Real vs. Perceived Threats, either way, our body reacts with the stress response as if we are in a state of alarm. This could be exhausting, we are geared up biochemically for no reason. Would you rather consider saving “your stank” and deal with the real giant when you see it than to loose it along the way. In other words, use your strength, resources, faith, creativity, etc. when you are in real danger. Our negative reactions to our fears leaves us feeling drained and weak, Making it very difficult to fight through the problem. Show up with a full tank instead of an empty one.
The fact is: we never know what we will have to face around the corner. Living with the worries and fears of things that may not come to past is a disservice to yourself. Trusting that you will have what you need when you need it is a great way to deal with worrying and anxiety.