3 Steps to Deal with Uncomfortable Emotions

3 Steps to Deal with Uncomfortable Emotions


Emotional pain is an “attention getter.”  Our anxieties, frustrations, irritabilities, anger, or sadness let us know what needs to change in our lives.  Either we are to change something about ourselves or about a situation.   When these uncomfortable emotions arise, the worse thing you can do is ignore them—they could create emotional or physical havoc later.  Here are some tips for dealing with emotions.

  1. Change your thought patterns that are creating the emotions (anxiety, depression, frustration, anger, irritability, etc.).  If you do not change the situations or thought patterns that are causing these uncomfortable emotions, you will continue to be triggered by them.
  2. Identify the triggering event. What had happened and what are your thoughts about what has happened. 
  3. What could you change vs what can’t you change about the situation? Remember the Serenity Prayer.       The things we cannot control we must accept.  Accepting something does not mean agreement, it means recognize what JUST IS.  We can change by:  setting boundaries, communication, reducing stress, learning better coping strategies, self-care, prayer, trusting the Lord, etc.

If you are interested in learning ways to dig in and master these emotions.  Consider taking our Transformation T.E.A. course.  Which teaches specific tools and strategies to transform your Thoughts, Emotions, and Actions (T.E.A.).

The Holy Spirit and spiritual healing

Holy Spirit and spiritual healing

And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may be with you forever.  That is the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it does not behold Him or know Him, but you know Him because He abides with you, and will be in you.  John 14:16-17


Spiritual healing means focusing on the whole person:  mentally, emotionally, physically, relationally, and spiritually.  The Holy Spirit is given to us to communicate God’s love, forgiveness, power, light to our deepest needs.   Our beliefs and view of God will determine the quality of our health and healing in these different areas.  The Holy Spirit will guide us to our truth and that is where we may find our pain, shame, disappointments, and grief.  The ministry of the Holy Spirit is also characterized by positive emotions of love, joy, and peace.  As we go through our process of healing, He provides us with strength, wisdom, and encouragement directly, through His word, or through other people.

Reflective question:  What is the role of the Holy Spirit in the healing process?  How do you/could you allow the Holy Spirit to help you?


Abundant Living

Abundant Living 

Put on the full armor of God, that you may be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil.  For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.  (Ephesians 6:11-12)

We are currently living in the future history books; pandemic, insurrection of our Capital, abuse from those in power, wildfires, job losses, food insecurities (shall I go on or stop here???).  We see the destruction all around us in real time.  It-Is-A-Lot and so easy to loose site of the truth. 

Scriptures tell us that we can have abundant life by accepting Christ.  The caveat is that this does not mean that we are free from pain, uncertainty, or rejection.  Au contraire, we will have problems.  Abundant living is experiencing God’s love, forgiveness, and power in the midst of these problems.  These problems have the potential to destroy our faith, cause depression or anxiety, and lower our self esteem.  However this scripture in Ephesians reminds us of who/what we are fighting and how to fight.


Reflective question:  How does believing that Christians are supposed to be free from problems can create a hindrance to spiritual growth?  How is spiritual warfare significant to abundant living?

Freedom in Christ

Freedom in Christ 

You shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free. (John 8:32)


Finding a sense of security, validation, purpose, acceptance and freedom is often the aim of living a fulfilled life.   Unfortunately, some seek to gain these from worldly sources:  social media, personal success and status, beauty, and approval.  The internet has become a place where we could quickly meet our insecurities just by a headline, video, meme, posting, comparisons, or whether or not we get enough likes on your personal social media postings.  The experience of gaining some of these things are short lived and until the next need arise. 

The truth is Jesus’ death and resurrection give us new life, hope, security, and freedom.  In Him we have purpose and security. Understanding His grace, forgiveness, and acceptance will prompt us to follow Christ and His cause.  There we will find the freedom to enjoy His love.  The enjoyment of His love is intertwined with how we carry out our life’s work, relationships, and even troubles.  Freedom independent of someone’s approval is freedom.

Reflective question:  what difference would it make in your life if you are able to understand that your worth is not based on being accepted by others, performance; but based on unconditional love and acceptance of God.

The Encouraging Serenity Prayer in Its Entirety.

Many of us can quote the first few lines of the Serenity Prayer, but did you know there was more?

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change; 
courage to change the things I can; 
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time; 
enjoying one moment at a time; 
accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; 
taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it; 
trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will; 
that I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
forever in the next. 


This is dedicated to the courageous people that come to the couches. 

It takes courage to come, see and own your stuff.  Courage to sit through the discomfort of being transparent.  To allow your heart to break and know that it could be mended.  To work through those difficult memories that create turmoil and sometimes chaos.  To allow the tears to drop and know that it is not a sign of weakness but of massive strength.  To let the dam break and trust that God’s reach is able to contain all of the ooze.  To unpack, allow the contents to get messy, then place them where they should be.  To face it head on and no longer avoid it by engaging in unhealthy behaviors (ignoring, addictions, displacement, projection, etc).  To want to run but stay.  To want to hide but allow yourself to stand in the light.  To learn to trust yourself and God with your stuff.  Just know, it ain’t easy doing this.  It takes a courageous person to get on the couch and unpack your stuff.  To expand your comfort zones.  To do those bold and courageous things despite your feelings.  Courage to change the rules and the scripts.  Courage to believe God’s Word at face value.  Courage to boldly stand in your God-given “superpowers.”  It ain’t an easy journey but doable journey–you already have all that you need…discover it, use it, overcome it, conquer it.

I applaud you, I celebrate you, I am in total awe because of your courage.  Thrive in your journey because of the rewards.


7 Benefits of Optimism

How you choose to see life in general affects your experience of life…body, soul, and spirit.  Optimism is the choice to look at things more favorably.   Being optimistic does not cost you anything but can gain so much.  There are many benefits to being optimistic and here are the top seven.  

  1. Research has shown that it increases health and longevity.
  2. It makes you happier.
  3. It encourages you to get things done.
  4. It reduces the stress in your body.
  5. It gives you a more exciting reason to live.
  6. It helps you master your emotions.
  7. It’s therapeutic.

The Bible also encourages us to be optimistic.  Here are some helpful scriptures:

(John 14:1)  Do not let your heart be troubled; believe in God, believe also in Me.

(Romans 12:12) Rejoicing in hope, persevering in tribulation, devoted to prayer.

(Proverb 12:25) Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs it down, But a good word makes it glad.

(2 Corinthians 7:4)  Great is my confidence in you;  great is my boasting on your behalf I am filled with comfort; I am overflowing with joy in all our affliction.

***I pray that you remember that being optimistic does not cost you anything.  It does not take away from the reality of negative things that has or may happen, but it will give you a way to better deal with them.